


Missing Mornings

by Eclectic_Goddess



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Families of Choice, Missing Scene, Mornings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-03-31 04:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3964570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eclectic_Goddess/pseuds/Eclectic_Goddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of morning ficlets, set through the series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sneaking

**Author's Note:**

> Part One - Kanan / Hera. Set at some point before the series, but after Zeb and Sabine have joined the Ghost's crew.
> 
> In which sneaking suddenly becomes a thing.

“Kanan, wake up.”

Pulling himself up out of sleep, Kanan groaned. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know. Early.” Hera jostled his shoulder. “You need to get up.”

Kanan opened his eyes and blinked around the cabin. There were no alarms sounding, no warning lights. He looked down at Hera, who was still buried under the blankets, eyes closed.

“Wha…” Kanan rubbed a hand over his face. “Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing. You need to go back to your bunk.”

After a moment, Kanan sighed. He tried to settle back again, but Hera pushed at him. Her hand slid off his shoulder and pressed against the side of his head. She kept pushing until he gave in and sat up.

“Hera, come on.”

“There are other people aboard this ship now.” Hera’s voice was muffled by the pillow, but no less firm. “I’m not going to have the kids whispering when they see you sneaking out of my cabin in the morning.”

“First of all, can we not call them ‘the kids’? Zeb is older than either of us. Second, why would I need to sneak? It’s not like they haven’t figured out that we…” He trailed away when one of Hera’s eyes opened to glare at him.

“That we what, Kanan?”

Kanan didn’t have an answer. This was something they didn’t talk about. Most of the time, this was something he didn’t even let himself think about. In the early days of their…acquaintance…Kanan had sworn he wasn’t looking for a committed partner, and Hera had sworn she wasn’t looking for a casual lover. Then nights like this happened, and if Kanan didn’t sleep in his own bunk, at least he hadn’t had to sneak out in the morning.

But Hera’s eye was narrowing dangerously, and Kanan flailed to find a way to make sure that sneaking was still a future option. “This.” He gestured between them. “You know.”

After a moment, Hera sighed. She shoved at him once more and pulled the blankets off his lower half to wrap herself more tightly in them. “And that’s why you have to go.”

Confused and chilled, Kanan reached for his pants. He was half dressed and at the hatch when Hera spoke up again.

“I’ll make you space waffles,” she said sleepily. “Later.”

“Your space waffles are terrible.”

“I’ll get Zeb to make them.”

Smiling despite himself, Kanan palmed open the hatch. “Deal.”


	2. Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Two – Kanan / Hera. Set between “Spark of Rebellion” and “Droids in Distress”. Hera is just looking for some quiet time, but instead she finds Kanan.

Hera had been alone on the Ghost for a long time. She’d been too busy to be lonely, too focused on her goals to notice anything missing. That changed with Kanan, then Zeb, Sabine, and Ezra. These days, she was the first to admit that having the others there wasn’t always easy, but she couldn’t imagine going back to flying solo. The ship was full of life now, full of family.

It was also full of noise. Arguments and laughter and Sabine’s off-key singing and the occasional crash that Zeb would blame on Ezra even though everyone knew it was Chopper’s fault. Hera loved having the others aboard, but it didn’t stop her from enjoying what peace and quiet she could get.

Planetside, that meant mornings. Zeb and Sabine were both habitual night owls and could be reliably counted on to sleep in. Ezra had mostly adopted their hours, and on the odd occasion he did rise early, he was usually off the ship before anyone knew he was even awake. Chopper was unpredictable, but Hera wasn’t his preferred target, so he generally stayed in his charging station until the others were up. That left Kanan. Most mornings, he rose at the same time as Hera, but rarely made it farther than the galley, slumped over the table with his eyes half closed. Hera would slide a mug of caf in front of him, he would grunt his thanks, and she had the rest of the morning to herself.

This morning, they were parked in a remote area of Lothal, far from any city. She’d found a wide, flat meadow between two gently rolling hills. Not hiding, exactly, but not easily visible. The Imperials had no reason to come out that far looking for trouble, and they’d been keeping a low profile since the Wookiee rescue operation had gone sideways. Hera planned wile away the morning watching the sun come up, then doing some visual checks of the Ghost’s external sensor arrays.

Kanan wasn’t at his usual spot in the galley, but she didn’t think much of it. She made herself some caf and carried the mug outside. As the back hatch lowered, the smell of fresh grass and damp earth flowed into the hold, and she closed her eyes to enjoy it. When it thudded down into place, she opened them again, and found Kanan.

He stood in the long grass a few meters from the ship, only half dressed and hair loose around his face. If he’d heard her come out, he gave no sign. In slow, precise movements, he stretched his arms out and back. He pivoted carefully on his back foot, and swung one arm around. His eyes were closed, face set in concentration. He swayed back as though dodging a blow in slow motion, then brought his hands back together and pushed forward.

Hera had no idea what he was doing. That didn’t stop it from taking her breath away.

She’d seen Kanan fight lots of times. He was fast, and he was strong. Even when he’d kept himself firmly cut off from the Force, he still moved in an impossibly graceful way that made it seem effortless. This was the same, but…more.

He paused for a moment and took a deep, long breath. A stone the size of a Loth-cat kitten rose up from the grass behind him. It wobbled briefly at shoulder height, then steadied. Kanan began to move again.

Hera realized she was holding her mug, forgotten, halfway to her lips, and lowered it. Her skin prickled like she’d gotten too close to a power coupling. As quietly as she could, she sat down at the top of the ramp, and watched. Kanan stopped his movements twice more, and two more stones rose around him. The third was the largest, and it tilted back and forth as though it was going to topple several times before stabilizing a meter off the ground.

Of course Hera knew that Kanan was a Jedi, but for a long time, it had only been words. History. Since Ezra had come into their lives, it was certainly more present, but still more of an idea than a reality. Seeing Kanan like this, aware that it was a fraction of what he was capable of, made her feel an almost overwhelming mixture of fear and hope for their future.

In the grass, Kanan swept his arms around. He shifted his weight forward to follow, but his boot scraped on the ground, and he stumbled. His arms flailed to catch his balance as all three stones thudded back to the ground. There was a moment of quiet, and then he barked, “Motherless Sith-spawn!”

The laugh burst out of Hera before she could even consider holding it in. She clapped a hand over her mouth, nearly spilling her caf, but it was too late.

Straightening, Kanan gave her a sidelong look.

“I’m sorry,” she said when she could control her grin. She felt flushed and giddy from what she’d just seen. “I really am.”

Kanan sighed heavily and aimed a half-hearted kick at one of the rocks he’d been levitating a moment before.

“I didn’t mean to…I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“No,” he said, waving her apology away. “I’m the only one bothering me. You’re fine.”

“Can I ask?” Hera waited for him to look at her again. “What that was?”

Coming through the long grass, Kanan climbed the ramp to drop down next to her. He pushed the hair out of his face and heaved another sigh. “It’s a Jedi exercise, to practice lightsaber forms. I haven’t done one in a while. A long while.”

No, Hera told herself. She’d remember if she’d seen that before, and she was unlikely to forget seeing it anytime soon. She finally managed a sip of her caf.

“With Ezra…I thought I should brush up on my technique. If I’m going to teach it to him. It’s something that my Master and I used to do together.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“Yeah, except…”

Up close, she could see sweat sticking his undertunic to his shoulders, the flush in his cheeks, but also the dark circles under his eyes. She frowned. “Kanan…”

He shook his head, denying whatever comfort she might be offering. “I never even finished my own training. I was still a padawan, a new padawan, when I lost my Master. I spent most of my life in the Temple, training, and I could barely protect myself when the time came. How can I possibly teach Ezra to protect other people?”

“Listen to me, Kanan. No matter happened before, I know who you are now. I know how strong you are.” She reached out to grip his arm. “You protect people every day. You’ve saved my life more times than I’m going to count. Ezra could not ask for a better master.”

Kanan gave her a smile that was more sorrow than anything else. “That’s just it. I’m not a Master. I know the Order is gone, and the old ways don’t apply any more, but I can’t…I was never even a Knight. I was a Padawan, and then I was nothing. For so many years, I rejected the idea that I was still a Jedi at all. How do I go from that to having a Padawan of my own?”

There was no way to answer that question, so Hera didn’t try. She realized that all this had been building since Kanan first found Ezra, first realized that that he was Force sensitive. Suddenly, Kanan’s recent insistence on keeping busy seemed like an obvious excuse to avoid facing the reality of having to begin his promised training. Hera wanted to reassure him, to tell him how good he’d already been for Ezra, and that maybe Ezra would be good for him, too, but those were just words. Kanan needed to figure this out for himself. She had faith that he would.

Scooting closer, she offered him her caf. He took the mug with a nod of gratitude, and she let him take a few sips more than she usually would before demanding it back. Together, they sat shoulder to shoulder and watched the sun rise on Lothal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise there will be some actual Ezra, Zeb and Sabine in later chapters. I'm trying to post these as close to chronologically as I can.


	3. Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Three – Set after “Gathering Forces”. Kanan and Ezra are working on meditation…and it’s work.

Getting Ezra out of bed usually wasn’t usually a problem. Most days, the word “training” would do it. Ezra had adopted Zeb and Sabine’s late hours, but he was young. He could sleep the morning away or get up with the dawn and it didn’t seem to make a difference. When distraction wasn’t part of the lesson, Kanan had no qualms about shaking him awake before the others had stirred.

Meditation had always been a struggle for Kanan, even when he’d been Caleb, in the quiet of the temple. Many a Master had shaken their heads about his inability to find peace within his own mind. It was easier now, which was good, because Ezra was worse at it than he’d ever been.

“Okay,” Kanan sighed after their third attempt of the morning had ended when Ezra suddenly burst into laughter about something Zeb had said the night before. “We’re going to start again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right. I know this isn’t easy. But I believe you can do it, and it’s important.” Sometimes Kanan found himself using what Ezra called his “master voice”, and he cringed. Thankfully, Ezra didn’t seem to notice, still laughing.

“I know,” he said. “I’ll try harder.”

“We’ll do it together this time. Just relax, and let go. Ready?”

“Yes.” Ezra snickered once more, but closed his eyes and settled his hands on his knees.

Kanan pitched his voice low and spoke slowly. “Start with your breathing. Nice and steady. Listen to it. Feel the air move in and out of your lungs. Feel your heart beating.”

Kanan let his own breathing fill his ears. While still speaking, he relaxed into the Force. It ebbed and flowed around him. He could feel Ezra beside him, a bright spark that jumped and stuttered. Little by little, the spark evened out into a steady glow.

“Now, open yourself up to the Force. Don’t reach out. Let it come to you. Let it flow through you.”

Kanan’s connection to the Force slowly became a connection to Ezra, then to everything around them. Through Ezra, he felt the subtle movements of the air, swaying of the grass, the sunlight warming the ground beneath them. They connected to of all of these things, separate but together. With each breath, Ezra became part of the air, the grass, the earth. He stretched out, further and further, with no effort at all. Kanan allowed himself a passing moment of pride before letting himself be pulled along.

They remained deep in this expansive meditation for some time. When Kanan became aware of a faint scuffling noise near them, he drew back carefully, trying not to disturb Ezra. It was probably Hera or one of the others, but he’d warn them off if he could. This wasn’t a moment to be interrupted by one of Zeb’s practical jokes. Instead of his crewmates, he found a different presence.

Kanan opened his eyes, still half in and half out of the ebb of the Force. A meter in front of them sat a Loth-cat. It had settled back on its haunches, ears back, and bright eyes fixed on Ezra. Between its little black paws sat a mangled drink container. Kanan reached out to it and felt its uncomplicated mind. _Friend,_ it thought. _Play. Eat. Run. Play. Friend._

Smiling, Kanan let himself sink back into the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somehow I lost a written chapter, so I'll add it now, though I honestly don't know if there's more coming.


End file.
